The role of structure in a life of freedom

There's often been a war between resentment and passion.

When you're deciding to commit to something or stay on the surface and leave yourself open to multiple things... You consider whether they're good enough, what the long term will bring into your life, what other options you have etc.

Am I dating a gold mine of awesome sex, support and fun times? Or are the diamonds just on the surface, leaving me stuck with dirt after the honeymoon period of glitter...

Thoughts like these go through your head when you consider dating someone. Or putting something new into your life like a job, or a new place to move, or a new phone, an expensive sex toy cast in gold... Anything which requires commitment.

There's another word for it, and for many, especially those interested in living a passionate and free life, it comes with a feeling of disgust...

That word is "Structure."

the spot of joe


But let's step back a bit.

Like how electricity can be used to power a heart-jumper thingy (I didn't go to med school, so get your pretentious self off of my vocab!) or shock a man to death, structure is a tool which can be used for good or bad.

Honoring a commitment to a manipulative partner is harmful to yourself. Honoring a commitment to someone supportive and sexy is nurturing yourself.

Getting into a low-pay, high-stress job is harming yourself. Building a blog to help people live more freely and passionately, writing for it (which you love) and evangelizing it (which you also love) while making cash for you to live and prosper... This is nurturing yourself.

The bottom line is this...

Is the structure you're considering more like the early US government, which was designed from the ground up to work for the people, and enhance personal freedom and pursuit of happiness? Or is it more like Soviet Russia, who's government was designed to push the citizens' faces deep into metaphorical dog shit with steel-toed boots...

In living a free life, pick the structures which build you up and which you can tear down when needed. The purpose of structure is to facilitate or maintain change and movement...

  • A job facilitates the movement of money into the employee's life, and value into the employer's business.
  • A relationship facilitates the movement of sex, validation and support between both people.
  • A gym habit facilitates the movement of health, strength and confidence into your life

Here are three bulletpoints to gauge every structure you decide to put into your life to ensure the benefit and freedom you desire, as a pursuer of a passionate, free existence:

  • It's gotta be a net win for you. You have to gain more from having it than if you didn't.
  • It has to give you something you genuinely desire, be it health, wealth, happiness, love, sex, security... Don't build it because you think you should, or your friend or lover wants you to, build it because you desire its benefits in your life
  • Does it give you the freedom to do what you like in your life elsewhere? Does that new job take up all your time and cut into your late night My Little Pony/pizza sessions you love so much? Does that new girlfriend get all annoyed when you hang out with other girls? Or do they give you the freedom to enjoy the other parts of your life freely...

If your new structure fits these points it should help you AND allow you the freedom to develop yourself further.


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