Lessons from behind the phone: Dating, life and social skills I learned from telemarketing.

So in my week with my sales job I learned a lot of things about myself, sales and ironically dating.

I learned I'm extravagant and fearless when it comes to social situations. It's easy for me to make a move.

I've been making jokes and taking social risks naturally. My cubicle neighbors joke with me? I joke back.

Someone invites me to lunch at a nearby buffet? I say cool but I'll need a ride (asking for what I need.)

My weakness is in calibrating to others' comfort. I find it's easy for me to be unaware of someone being uncomfortable and I don't entirely know that I need to step back. This worries me a bit because it could blindside me and get me fired - being socially uncalibrated by going too far.

Basically my default, my strength is to go forward with a polarizing joke, my weakness is being disconnected from others' temperature and the room's temperature.

Also I realize that the sales process they're teaching me is perfect for dating. And that dating is just selling your penis.

Approaching is like cold calling.

Hitting up girls who went cold is like warm dialing.

I call, I try to speak to the decision maker at the company, if they don't want to hear from me, I calibrate to them and try to get them to feel comfortable opening up. If they don't qualify (e.g. if I'm selling business communication software and they have < 5 employees) then I thank them for their time and disqualify them in Salesforce. If they object, it's not to ME, it's to THE CALL and I continue helping them open up. If they hang up, as long as they didn't "unsubscribe" specifically, I set a "next step" date for a month or two or three and hit them up again then.

If they're down, then I set up a meeting with the closer asap.

It's a perfect analogy for dating.

And it makes it really really clear that the only problems I have with dating are my own emotional ties to it. I don't give a shit whether a company sets a meeting with me. I call >150 a day, and while I have a meeting quota I don't get commissions.

But sometimes I wrap up dates, kissing, sex into my ego, my self-worth, my identity and when I do that, it's like I'm drinking water and trying to control how it moves through my body... that analogy makes sense in my head but it's hard to explain... Basically I try to impede the flow of the process rather than work with it.

A persistent background worry is that I'll be fired. I have a backup plan - I want sales experience so I'll send the same resume to 5+ other similar companies in the area, and also apply to "brand ambassador" positions. There are tons nearby and they're always hiring.

So it's not the end of the world. And to an extent, this worry is good as long as I use the fear to propel me to do well at my job and to work with the management and become a skilled salesman.

I'm reevaluating some of my habits so I can focus on this job first and foremost, and on my dropshipping money-printing engine second, and my craft/lifecoaching business third. I dropped most of my daily habits this week trying to wake up early so I can get to work, and because 10 hours of M-Th were suddenly taken up.

So that's my week and my new realizations. Hopefully it's helped you gain some insight as well!